I ignored your aura but it grabbed me by the hand, like the moon pulled the tide, and the tide pulled the sand.
The last time I wrote on here, I was in such a different place in my life. Even if that place was only nine months ago. So much has changed…
I turned 20
I finally got that tattoo I meant to get last year. The word paradise in arabic. I spent the summer in NYC, being a mistreated intern, then a over worked cupcake worker, to just someone in an overworked relationship. This was the hardest summer, yet life changing summer I ever had. Being so in love with someone who begins to see love in a different way is a very difficult thing to go through. I didn’t realize how much I put into the relationship until I was alone. That every tearful phone call, every homesick laugh, every text, everything I wanted the next few years to be was stuck with him. I gave my all into something that died. It took so long to admit to myself that it wasn’t working. I still have trouble admitting to myself that it won’t anymore. I don’t know where we are at this point, good friends seems to little, a relationship is pushing it. I’m just trying to enjoy myself, but I can’t help and think how hopeless in love I was a year ago.
"When they don’t love you the way you want to, you mourn that for however long you need to. But then you get back up and you remind yourself. You are not a reflection of the people who can’t love you. You will love again. You will be loved again." - Caitlyn Siehl
A girl who likes to write scripts and quote rappers. Yes, the cats' pajamas.